and so is the story of the long forgotten blog. and yes laziness is a large part too. in fact, the only reason i’m here now is because my domain expired which reminded me i had a blog in the first place. in order to ease the guilt of the $17.99 purchase to renew it for another year, i decided i should at least give it a little shout out. so hello. and goodbye.

I have classes of up to 22 students. Most classes are 12-15 students. About half can’t speak English. Worse yet, I was told to NOT let them know I speak French so that they’d be forced to speak English. Well, after about 4 weeks of speaking like a drunk robot (you know, slurring and mechanically unnatural – or worse yet pronouncing words like a French person) I finally gave up and started speaking in French to help them understand when they were lost. Not only did this help my rapport with them, but it made them more comfortable to make blunders in English since I did it all the time in French. However, while for some it worked, I do still have groups that are just awful to work with. There are actually some that I’ve considered meeting with the principal about to ask if I can not teach them anymore. The way I see it is that most (about 9 out of 12) classes really enjoy their time with me, learn from the classes I give, participate to their relative ability, and look forward to seeing me. The other 3 classes scowl at me and talk the whole time. When called on they stare at me and speak French. I tried playing games with them to warm up to them and show that I’m not “bad teacher,” but they got so bad I had to become bad teacher (and because the teacher next door complained about their noise making).  So I’ve began taking carnets* when necessary, but I don’t actually know what to write in them so I always give them back at the end with a “next time I am writing in it!” warning.

(*a carnet is a sort of disciplinary booklet that students are required to carry around. It gets checked by the administration on a regular basis. Too many notes and you will be suspended or expelled.)

I guess I don’t really have any advice to give you, just thought I’d let you know you are not alone in your frustrations! Sometimes those 55 minutes are the most unbearable minutes of my life. I am not a confrontational person so reprimanding students has been hard. The other day two of my students started asking me what right I had to reprimand them when I wasn’t even a real teacher. You have no idea I mad I got! And for what reason did the confrontation happen? They were watching Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech with French subtitles and put their heads on their desks. When I told them they HAD to watch it they said “but I’m not interested.” I’m not interested? You’ve got to be kidding me! It felt borderline racist.

Sorry to vent. Sometimes it’s just hard to believe people can raise such annoying and disrespectful children!

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This story is true. But I do have many classes that I absolutely adore, especially when I’m trying to get 15 year old girls to figure out if women receive equal treatment to men. Silly girls. If they don’t listen now, they’ll learn once they grow up.

For today’s rosé purchase I spotted a wine I didn’t want to buy but couldn’t resist: the first 2009 on the shelf. Why you ask did I not want to buy it? The label. You see, I’m a bit of a label snob and find that many affordable (read: cheap) French wines have labels so god awful it’s almost painful to look at them. Bad labels are not encouraging for perspective impulse shoppers. However, the fact that it was a 2009 vintage beat out the fact that the label made me want to barf, beat up an old lady, and burn down French country homes all at the same time. The label is predominantly white and pink with the quintessential French chateau beautifully perched over a river with an ancient bridge crossing it. Below that is a horrendous lineup of a pink roses. At the bottom of the label is the wine makers name set in gold over a bright pink strip. It’s the kind of label you would find framed at goodwill. It’s the kind of label that looks like a terrible prom corsage mistake. It’s the kind of label that makes me wonder why France is even a country.

Label aside, I purchased this 2009 Cabernet d’Anjou from Les Maitres Goustiers (the name itself should have made me steer clear, damn). I’ve never had a vin de primeur rosé, and probably not even a non Beaujolais vin de primeur.  For those of you who don’t understand my fancy French wine lexicon a vin de primeur is essentially the French term for premature wine. It’s kind of like giving birth to a 6 month old (or in this wine’s case a 3 month old): they can survive but it’s not really a good idea and it’s generally just better to wait for proper gestation. So I didn’t expect much from my rosé, but was willing to give this preemie a try. However, it wasn’t until I returned home that I noticed it was only 11.5% alcohol. You see, in the world of wine 11.5% just isn’t a good sign (for me at least, I like alcohol!) with a few exceptions. 11.5% tells me under ripe grapes or more likely residual sugar, neither of which I want unless I’m intentionally seeking it out. And that’s when I knew it, I’d just bought a slightly sweet rosé. Turns out had my wine geekdom been a little more fine tuned I would have known that Cabernet d’Anjou is a sweeter rosé style. Damn Loire valley and all their sweet wines. Nothing is wrong with a little residual sugar, but when you’re expecting dry and sassy, sweet and pretty are not really welcome characteristics.

So how did this 2009 youngin’ do? Well, let’s just say if I were a 16 year old girl and wanted to get drunk this would be perfect. In fact, I may give this to some of my sophomore students and encourage them to mix it with sparkling water: it would make a delicious wine spritzer. (This is a joke. I would never encourage a minor to drink. Even though they do anyways.) What I might do is save the bottle until I have sparkling water myself and make my own afternoon teenage aperitif.  I must clarify that the wine is not terrible, but my problem with it can be explained by the same reason I drink martinis instead of lemon drops: I just don’t like sugary booze.  (Unless I’m intentionally pairing it with something. Or it’s a ridiculously priced Alsace wine that you can’t help but swoon over. And tawny port and chocolate cake will never lose a special place in my heart. But back to my point…) So the wine is sweet. Not too sweet, but sweet. Its color is a pretty rose pink with salmon tinges. The nose is reminiscent of raspberries and lychees with a touch of nice limestone minerality. The mouth is, as I’ve mentioned, sweet but not by any means cloying. If you’re a wine nut (or German) think halbtrocken and you’ll be about there. It has a mouth coating richness and a nice acid backbone to balance out the sugar. It’s actually decent, but falls flat. Good wine sings in my mouth, and this wine just babbles. However, it would be much improved by a nice spicy meal. Maybe I’ll go eat a jalapeno.

For this wine I give you two pairing options:

1. The 16 year old

Music: whatever the kids are into these days

Food: none. 16 year old girls don’t eat. Mix it with bubbly water and drink until you giggle.

2. The Food Savvy Hipster

Music: Deerhoof

Food: Thai or Chinese food that is spicy enough to make your eyes water and authentic enough to not be entirely certain what you’re eating.

this list is a response to the beginning of my fourth month living in a foreign country. i guarantee the equivalent will be formed after four months of living back home…

Wanting to find another rosé to review I popped in the shop to purchase a bottle because I knew for a fact they had at least one extraordinary rosé: Jean Maurice Raffault 2008 Chinon. An extraordinary and affordable rosé with beautiful minerality, hints of white pepper, and the subtlest background of wild raspberry. I used to have a glass of this wine for my shift drink every night after work over the summer, that is until we ran out. However I didn’t want to try a wine I already knew, so despite the risk I tried something new. As I walked into the shop I noticed the shop keeper was helping another lady. Relief! I won’t get harassed today. I made a bee-line for the rosé section when suddenly someone walked up to offer his sage wine advice. It wasn’t however the shop keeper. It was his son. His son is 16. No joke. 16. I don’t think I really need to point out the absurdity of someone recommending wine who won’t even be legal to drink said wine for another 5 years in my country! Granted, we are not in my country, we are in France, but still…

Wanting to help him make dad proud, I accepted his services. “Can I help you with your selection?” he asked in French. “Sure,” I replied doubtfully, “I want to buy a rosé.” “Are you looking for something completely dry or more fruity?” he asked. Well, the two aren’t mutually exclusive, but I catch your drift, so “dry and minerally” I replied. He pointed out a 3,75 euro Corsican rosé. I’ve haven’t yet had a Corsican rosé – and I will soon – but not one quite so cheap. “Maybe something a little more expensive,” I told him. He scanned the bottles insecurely with his fingers and landed on a very pale rosé. It’s only name was “Gris Blanc.” I decided to put him to the test, “What varietals does it have?” “Uhhh…” he picked up the bottle to look.  Grenache noir and grenache gris. “Okay, I’ll try it. Why not?”  I said.

The real reason I agreed to try it was because it was the palest rosé I’d ever seen, and more so because I wanted to say I’d bought wine from a 16 year old. For 6,75 it cost less than I had intended to spend, but it was rosé, what did I have to lose?

I walked home and put the Gérard Bertrand Vin de Pays d’Oc 2008 Gris Blanc on the exterior of my window sill for instant chilling while I made myself dinner. So how did the wine hold up to the 16 year olds recommendation? Exactly what you would expect from a 16 year old I suppose. He was on the notch with it being dry, though it wasn’t exactly minerally.

Appearance: The wine is almost white and at first I questioned if I can even count it as a rosé since it calls itself a “gris blanc” which translates to “white grey.” (Okay technically grey white, but in this case the grey is functioning as a noun which… never mind. French grammar lesson will come another day.)  Some French rosés are called vin gris (grey wine) – in Corsica for example – so I’ll assume it’s emulating that style in the palest way possible. And it is after all made in the classic French rosé tradition of using red grapes to make rosé rather than blending red and white grapes (which is illegal in the EU now, except in Champagne). Anyways, the wine is pale. The color is so pale it makes me think of finishing a glass of red wine and then pouring in a glass of white wine without a rinse in between. Not that anyone should do that, or that I ever have of course… It also reminded me of Jamie Ivey’s book about seeking out the palest rosé in France. This would have to have been one of the contenders.

So anyways. The wine. Here are my notes:

Nose: Super herbaceous and a little woody. Smells like the south of France in a big fat garrigue way. Doesn’t offer much in the way of fruit, but that is what I was hoping for. There is however the slightest hint of under ripe white peaches. Notes of ocean air. It actually smells a lot like prosecco, which took me awhile to recognize. Maybe candle wax? lanolin?

Mouth: Very dry with minerality and a mouth coating texture and a tart acid metallic finish. It’s so unctuous it verges on slippery.  There is nothing special about this wine what so ever, aside from all the subtleties on the nose.  It is extremely different from  the Tavel I last wrote about. It’s okay, but not something I would buy again. I like my roses with a slight bit more color, a little more fruit, and a more self assured character. This feels lost, uncertain of its character, where it comes from, or who it is. Perhaps it’s because it’s a vin de pays d’Oc which tells me it is probably from a bit of everywhere. On the bright side, this wine makes me nostalgic as it reminds me very much a Provencal white wine I drank over the summer with my boyfriend in Portland. Similar rustic woodiness that I can only attribute to garrigueness that I don’t actually know is a note associated with whites or rosés in the South.

Music: The Police. Why? Because you’re drinking mass produced mediocre rosé. Food: Scallops. The sea breeze notes begs for seafood, and the texture is telling me scallops.

That said, I do feel like it’s due time for a bit of an update, a few remarks, and some pointed tips for personal improvement (mine and others).

1. To the high school teachers of France – If you decide to go on strike and cancel your classes – which in turn means my classes – please inform me before I’ve taken the half hour bus ride to school.  And if that is not possible please – this is for you Mr. Secretary of the school – don’t tell me a teacher will be there for class when she wont be. I’m all for striking and political dissent, but I don’t like being at school for five hours when I could have been there for only one.  God created email and cell phones for a reason – use them!

2. I didn’t join couchsurfing.org as a dating service, so please stop writing me and asking me to come stay with you in Paris. I won’t.

3. Always keep one eye on the ground when walking. This is the only sure measure against unwittingly stepping in an enormous wet dog turd. Which leads me to 4…

4. Please pick your dog turds up after they have dispensed them. Really gross things happen when you don’t.

5. Please stop making everything so much cheaper for those who are 25 and under. Just because I’m aging doesn’t mean I’m rich. Adults are children too and deserve 50% off train fares. Besides, everyone tells me I look 20, shouldn’t that count for something? The new policy should be like that off the OLCC: everyone who looks 36 or younger gets carded, or in this case, the discount.

6. Perhaps rulers should be reinstated in classrooms as a form of discipline. I’m not one to promote child abuse, but I’m beginning to think some teenagers could use a good whack on the head here and there to set them straight.

7. White trash French people exist and they all shop at the same discount super market. More on this subject later…

8. Whoever told me (that would you Madame High School French Teacher) that French people don’t get drunk like Americans has never walked in the neighborhood of bars on an early Sunday morning and counted vomit splats.  No it’s not just pre, post, and current American fratority members that drink until they purge their dinner.

I recently taught my students about American politics. This included a simple 16 question quiz to determine their imaginary American political affiliation. Despite the fact it seems nearly all the students like Obama and haphazardly shout out “Yes we can!” during class, a whopping 20% are deep down McCain/Bush loving war mongers. I assume this is the part of the population that explains the near election of the neo fascist nationalist Le Pen as president in 2007.  Another 26% of students are what I have exacted as conservative democrats, though I think really they’re more like liberal republicans (I like ze guns, ze war, and ze marijuana! taxes? zey are too expeensif”).

Other findings follow.

1. Don’t assume 15 year olds are intelligent just because they’re French. Stupid people fill every nook and cranny of the earth, and that includes France. I just wasn’t prepared to have to explain to the kids why they don’t pay to see the doctor or to go to the hospital. I figured their 15 year old minds had figured out they lived in a socialist country where their taxes (or those of their parents) contribute to the collective good. Apparently I was wrong.

2. Not surprisingly most French teenagers are democrats. And for this I am grateful. Moreover, the older they get, the more liberal they become. I attribute this to their more highly developed mental facilities allowing them to reflect  intelligently when asked if the war in Iraq was a mistake.

3. A surprising number of French teenagers support the death penalty, which is illegal in France.

4. An even more surprising number think abortion should be illegal. (Can we say catholic?)

5. However, most agree that marijuana should be legal.  When asked why responses ranged from the infamous “Yes we can!” to “I like smoke ze marijuana” to “it make you fly.” After explaining that money spent jailing marijuana felons could be redirected to education, they seemed to like the idea because “maybe if Americans are smarter zey don’t smoke ze marijuana so much.” Touché.

6. Students are up in the air on being gay. Half think gay marriage should be legal, a quarter say civil unions are fine but not marriage, and a quarter say a lesbian is just a woman lost without a man and that gay men are unnatural. (These are some of the same kids who need to feel the corrective sting of my wooden – or maybe metal – ruler).

7. Studies find the generally more annoying and disobedient the student is the more likely he or she is to be a republican.  Once again rulers come into play here. Rulers = a good excuse to beat a republican.

And that is that. This is France.

1. universal health care – this is obvious to anyone with an ounce of intelligence on their shoulders and the french think we are insane for not having it. and they are right.
2. affordable wine – we produce some good wine in america, however if you want to buy anything under $10 you run the risk of having to pour it down the sink along with all its fake oak fruity full bodied american flavors. however a recent 3,50 euro beaujolais villages kicked some serious cheap wine ass.
3. cheese – need i say more?
4. trains – they aren’t perfect and if you want to get from rural village in region a to rural village in region b it can take forever, but mostly they are fast, cheap, and environmentally friendly.
5. free education through doctorates degrees
6. super market meat departments that offer it all – pigs brains, cow tongue, veal liver, whole rabbits with eyeballs and everything. i may not be interested in eating any of these and prefer my rabbits to appear as unbunny like as possible, but i like to know that someone is making use of them. can you imagine a safeway with dead bunnies in it? i can’t…

and on the contrary, here are a few things france should emulate from america:

1. driving behavior – please slow down french drivers. unless your grandmother is dying in the hospital there is no reason to be in such a hurry.
2. international wine selections – this is one thing we do right with wine – we sell it from countries all over the world. you can buy american wine in france, however the only american wine i have seen in chaumont (aside from the bottle of oregon pinot noir i brought with me) is gallo chardonnay. what’s worse? the situation isn’t much brighter for closer international selections. chianti? gruner? rioja? nope. how about wines from the rhine in germany that i’m only a few hours away from? nope. in all fairness i am comparing a city of over 1 million people to a town of under 30,000, though i do hear american wine is hard to come by even in paris…
3. service in restaurants – it hardly exists here. i don’t like the overly attentive i-want-to-be-your-best-friend american style service, but i also don’t like being ignored when i want another drink.
4. milk/half and half – how can they do cheese so right and milk so wrong? warm shelved boxed milk is a travesty to the poor dairy cows that produced it. please stop at once.
5. mexican food – i can’t get no satisfaction…
6. portland oregon – i still love you.